tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-264869452011-07-28T13:31:39.958-07:00Highchair Man or High Chairman?http://www.blogger.com/profile/13252552454385853192noreply@blogger.comBlogger21100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26486945.post-19287541603994094382009-09-27T15:14:00.000-07:002009-09-27T15:26:34.725-07:00<span style="font-family:verdana;">This weekend I had the displeasure of visiting a very gay friend of mine who lives way out in the sticks in Western Kentucky. He is so gay that he actually receives disability benefits from the states because of his prolapsed rectum that he got from too much butt-fucking. He lives in a trailer with his two boyfriends, one who is much older than him and one who is just barely out of high school. Under normal circumstances I wouldn't just casually hang out with him because of his extravagantly flamboyant lifestyle, but when he called me on the phone and told me of the "state's ONLY gay-friendly outdoors gun range", I jumped at the chance.<br /><br />Now, I've lived in Owensboro all my life, all twenty-four years of it, and I had NEVER heard of the little town of Lewisport only thirty-some miles away. I was shocked when Frank told me, "Yeah, you know Hancock County? Right next to Daviess? Yeah, Lewisport is like the first town you come through on your way to Hardinsburg." So I went out to meet him and his boyfriends at the Lewisport Post Office, and from there I followed him down Highway 657 and some back roads to a shooting range on the aptly named Oak Road. The signage was old and dilapidated, and there was nothing whatsoever designating it as a "gay-only homo-friendly" gun club...which I'm sure was pretty intentional. We pulled in and Frank handed me a toolbox full of ammunition while he and his boyfriends carried their big long rifles to the firing stands. There were other men there, some with very young boys, and it slowly began to dawn on me that these were gay men of the "NAMBLA" type. They were all shooting nonstop, constantly, except to take breaks in which fellatio and anal sex were performed out in the open. There were no risks whatsoever in them getting caught, though, thanks to the heavy tree cover blocking the view of passerby from the road.<br /><br />Unfortunately, after Frank and his boyfriends took a shot apiece, they began to congratulate each other by fondling and kissing and touching so I sneaked my hand into my pocket to my cell phone's ringtone settings and had it go off so I can fake an emergency call. I was out of there faster than a speeding bullet, but let it be known that the outdoor gun club in Lewisport are VERY tolerant of homosexuals, and by that logic, they should be very welcoming of minorities and disabled people as well. So, if you're in the closet and you love your firearms, but you also want an environment in which you could freely exercise your desires, come on down to Lewisport in the state of Kentucky and ask for directions to the gun club on Oak Road!<br /></span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/26486945-1928754160399409438?l=highchairman.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Highchair Man or High Chairman?http://www.blogger.com/profile/13252552454385853192noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26486945.post-80383884303265828172009-08-25T05:46:00.001-07:002009-08-25T06:01:55.082-07:00Hey, homies, you wanna smoke some weed and get paid to work while being high off your face in Owensboro? It's really simple. First, you go to Spartan Staffing on 3427 Frederica St. It is in the same little strip mall as Little Ceasar's Pizza. You apply at Spartan Staffing and tell them you want a ticket to work at Packaging Unlimited, and they'll give it to you. Then you show up the next morning as early as you can, 6:00AM on the dot will work.<br /><br />Be sure to show up at EXACTLY six! The Mexicans have a system perfected where they carpool five to six people per car at seven to eight cars in a convoy! They will all pull up right in front of the break room where you go to wait for your name to be called from your ticket and hand their tickets to the guy standing by the door because you get work on a First Come, First Serve basis. Then after the Mexicans hand off their tickets, they'll all go drive off to get breakfast at McDonald's or something. This is why you have to be there EARLY so you can hand your ticket in and stand a chance at getting some work!<br /><br />At about 6:30, someone will come to unlock the break room door and you can grab a seat and wait for the Spartan Staffing guy to show up and call names. But here's the rub! Remember when I said "First Come, First Serve"? Lol, that's a bunch of bull. Yesterday when I worked there, there were these two black guys that weren't together but they showed up extremely late. One of them had a pot leaf sticker on his cell phone and the other one had a pot leaf stencil bleached onto the back of his jeans. The dude was still calling out names and when the pothead homies frisbeed their tickets onto the table, they got a nod and a wink and they grabbed their hairnets to go work and make $50 so they can buy weed at the end of the day while some other people got overlooked. This one chick got really upset because she had an electric bill due that day or else her power would get shut off, but Spartan Staffing really doesn't care about that. They just want to help stimulate the drug economy in Owensboro. :)<br /><br />So if you want to just stand there all day and do an easy repetitive task for 8 hours, fire up that fat blunt and fly on down to Spartan Staffing on Frederica St. and you too can get paid $50 <span style="font-weight: bold;">at the end of each day</span>. And if you have marijuana propaganda on your clothing anywhere, you're guaranteed a spot to work!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/26486945-8038388430326582817?l=highchairman.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Highchair Man or High Chairman?http://www.blogger.com/profile/13252552454385853192noreply@blogger.com0