The ONLY gay-friendly gun club in Kentucky!

This weekend I had the displeasure of visiting a very gay friend of mine who lives way out in the sticks in Western Kentucky. He is so gay that he actually receives disability benefits from the states because of his prolapsed rectum that he got from too much butt-fucking. He lives in a trailer with his two boyfriends, one who is much older than him and one who is just barely out of high school. Under normal circumstances I wouldn't just casually hang out with him because of his extravagantly flamboyant lifestyle, but when he called me on the phone and told me of the "state's ONLY gay-friendly outdoors gun range", I jumped at the chance.

Now, I've lived in Owensboro all my life, all twenty-four years of it, and I had NEVER heard of the little town of Lewisport only thirty-some miles away. I was shocked when Frank told me, "Yeah, you know Hancock County? Right next to Daviess? Yeah, Lewisport is like the first town you come through on your way to Hardinsburg." So I went out to meet him and his boyfriends at the Lewisport Post Office, and from there I followed him down Highway 657 and some back roads to a shooting range on the aptly named Oak Road. The signage was old and dilapidated, and there was nothing whatsoever designating it as a "gay-only homo-friendly" gun club...which I'm sure was pretty intentional. We pulled in and Frank handed me a toolbox full of ammunition while he and his boyfriends carried their big long rifles to the firing stands. There were other men there, some with very young boys, and it slowly began to dawn on me that these were gay men of the "NAMBLA" type. They were all shooting nonstop, constantly, except to take breaks in which fellatio and anal sex were performed out in the open. There were no risks whatsoever in them getting caught, though, thanks to the heavy tree cover blocking the view of passerby from the road.

Unfortunately, after Frank and his boyfriends took a shot apiece, they began to congratulate each other by fondling and kissing and touching so I sneaked my hand into my pocket to my cell phone's ringtone settings and had it go off so I can fake an emergency call. I was out of there faster than a speeding bullet, but let it be known that the outdoor gun club in Lewisport are VERY tolerant of homosexuals, and by that logic, they should be very welcoming of minorities and disabled people as well. So, if you're in the closet and you love your firearms, but you also want an environment in which you could freely exercise your desires, come on down to Lewisport in the state of Kentucky and ask for directions to the gun club on Oak Road!